郭富城 Aaron Kwok - 執著
We tend to think of persistence as a positive trait and immaturity as a negative one. But the two can look surprisingly similar on the surface. Both involve a kind of stubbornness, a refusal to give up when others might. So how do we tell them apart? And more importantly, how do we ensure we're being persistent, not immature?
The difference lies in intention and control. Persistence is about long-term thinking. It's the ability to keep going in pursuit of something difficult, despite obstacles. Immaturity, on the other hand, is about short-term thinking. It's the inability to regulate emotions, adapt to reality, or see beyond immediate desires.
You can see how these could get confused. A persistent person might seem as obstinate as an immature one. But the immature person wants something right now, while the persistent person is willing to wait and endure discomfort in the pursuit of something more important.
Emotional Control
Emotional control is the key difference between the two. Persistent people face setbacks all the time, but they don't lose their cool. They recognize that failure is part of the process. The immature person, by contrast, throws a tantrum when things don't go their way. They expect reality to conform to their desires, and when it doesn't, they react emotionally.
If you’ve ever dealt with children, you’ve probably seen this firsthand. A child wants a toy, and when they don't get it, they scream and cry. An adult with emotional control might still want the toy, but they won’t throw a fit if they can’t have it immediately. They’ll wait, save money, or find another way to get it. This difference in emotional regulation defines persistence as a mature trait and immaturity as something to grow out of.
Long-term vs. Short-term
Another way to distinguish persistence from immaturity is to look at time horizons. Persistent people are playing a long game. They understand that big goals take time, so they’re willing to suffer now for something better later. They stick with hard problems because they know the reward is worth the effort.
Immature people, on the other hand, want things now. Their inability to wait or plan for the future makes them impatient. They give up if they don’t get immediate results, or they impulsively shift their focus to the next shiny object that promises quick gratification.
This impatience can be disastrous, both personally and professionally. In startups, it leads to pivoting too early, abandoning a good idea before it’s had time to work. In life, it leads to chasing fads, constantly switching jobs, or ending relationships at the first sign of difficulty. Persistent people, by contrast, are willing to wait through tough times because they know the long-term outcome is what matters.
Adaptability
Persistence also gets confused with rigidity. After all, persistent people don’t give up easily, so aren't they just being stubborn? No, because persistence is adaptable. If you’re truly persistent, you’re not blindly sticking with one path; you’re constantly adjusting your approach. You’re trying new things, learning from your failures, and iterating on your ideas.
Immature people, by contrast, are rigid in their thinking. They often insist on doing things their way, even when it’s clear their approach isn’t working. They might stubbornly repeat the same mistakes, expecting different results.
A persistent person, in contrast, takes feedback seriously. They don’t see failure as a reason to quit, but as valuable information to use in refining their strategy. That’s why truly persistent people often look flexible. They change their tactics all the time, but they never change their goal.
The Role of Self-Awareness
This adaptability stems from self-awareness, another key difference between persistence and immaturity. Persistent people are self-aware. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they have the humility to admit when something isn’t working. They seek out feedback and are willing to learn from others.
Immature people lack this self-awareness. They tend to blame external factors when things go wrong, instead of reflecting on their own behavior. They’ll say, “This didn’t work because of X,” when in reality, it didn’t work because they weren’t adaptable enough to change course.
How to Cultivate Persistence
So, how do you ensure you're persistent and not immature? The answer is emotional control, long-term thinking, adaptability, and self-awareness.
Emotional control: Learn to regulate your emotions. Recognize that failure is part of the process and that frustration is natural, but not helpful. Don’t let your emotions dictate your actions.
Long-term thinking: Focus on long-term goals. Be willing to endure short-term discomfort for long-term gain. Don’t give up just because results aren’t immediate.
Adaptability: Be willing to change your approach. Learn from your mistakes, and don’t be afraid to try something new. Persistence is not about doing the same thing over and over—it’s about doing whatever it takes to achieve your goal.
Self-awareness: Seek feedback and be honest with yourself about what’s working and what isn’t. The more self-aware you are, the better you’ll be at adjusting your strategy.
The key to persistence is balance. You need to be firm in your commitment to your goals, but flexible in how you achieve them. Stay emotionally regulated, focus on the long-term, adapt when necessary, and constantly reflect on your progress.
Persistence is what drives success, but it’s more than just stubbornness. It’s thoughtful, strategic, and mature. And it’s the opposite of the impulsive, emotional, and short-sighted behavior that defines immaturity. If you can tell the difference, you’ll know which path you’re on.
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